William Shakespeare offered a beautiful sonnet on True Love.
Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O no! it is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come:
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.
(Sonnet 116)
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O no! it is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come:
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.
(Sonnet 116)
This is one of the truest things I've ever read. I once heard a bride to be say "He does (thing) but once we're married I'll train him." I rolled my eyes at the statement. At the time I'd been married about 7 years. I told her "He's not going to be trained. And before you start remember for every habit he has that annoys the crap out of you, you have one that annoys the crap out out of him." Yes, a person can break a habit. It takes 21 days to do it and they have to want to do it. But there is something else to consider - if you change the person you love - will they still be the person you love?
My hubby is a Military aircraft buff and will talk about it constantly if he gets on the subject. It annoys the crap out of me. But I listen. Hey, I talk plans for my cat breeding for hours and it annoys him, but he listens.
When hubby became disabled in the military, (PTSD, Anxiety, Depression, Migraines, Back and Neck pain) I could have thrown up my hands and walked away. When he kicks me in his sleep from flashback dreams, or even after the time I woke up with him still asleep choking me; I could have packed my bags and left. But as I've told him "I promised the nice man that married us in sickness and in health". But that's not the only reason. I love him. not because he's perfect - Heaven knows he's the one person that can make me so mad I could get violent.
There are a couple things I've discovered in 28 years of marriage and I'll share them with you.
1. When you wake up in the morning beside this person your first thought should be. "I'm glad they are there." Or if it's a rough patch "I can deal with your crap today because I love you."
2. A person who truly loves you will encourage you in whatever you want to do.
3. You worry when you don't know where that person is.
4. You feel like your relationship has been forever and no time at all.
5. The idea of that person won't be there tightens your chest with fear.
6. You both accept when the other says no to something - that's a no.
Love should never be hard, it should never hurt. Love accepts the good, the bad, the terrible and the truly terrifying and is still there.
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